Thursday, December 06, 2007

Oh, a few more things...

Hey all,

Man I must be on a roll here, damn! 2 Blogs in one day? Two girls with Green eyes!?!?!

A few things i forgot to mention...

-I dont usually like to point out particular reviews of the movie, good or bad (well, OK maybe the good) but this audio podcast might be the most hilarious...er, um..."review" I've ever heard.

Now, I'm all for constructive criticism, and many people who have HATED the movie, both media and fans, have for the most part been very cordial and intelligent about their gripes with the flick, from "I felt that your stance on the same-family sexual relations to be quite vulgar and unnecessary in the milieu of the film" to "Dood, OMG that movie suxxxxx". Hey, I made a horror movie...way it goes, not here to please the masses totally, that's not good art.

...But when you have two Ding-Dongs give their "expert" opinion and seem to not know what the HELL they are talking about (especially on the movie itself), well...you have this amazing review by the knuckle-heads at The Horror Debate, which you can listen to and laugh your ass off HERE.

Now, before you go slamming me for slamming them for slamming the movie, just know that I absolutely respect and welcome anyone with a take on this or ANY movie (remember what your grandmother says about opinions...)
but I laughed so frequently over how dim-witted and misguided the "review" was, I had to share. Sure Im probably giving them traffic by linking them but fuck it...your welcome boys!

Also...check out their previous ratings for fellow 1-2 star stinkers like AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, DEAD ALIVE, REANIMATOR, DAWN OF THE DEAD & even NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD...so clearly these guys ARE the be all end all authority when it comes to Horror criticism, right? Actually, I;m so honored to have been "debated" and be in the same company as those above "pieces of shit", I'm in great company then! Hey...at least they liked HATCHET, can't fault them for that.

-Lastly, my good friend Steve sent the following image to me saying he assumed this was a typical day for a 6 year old Joe Lynch. I couldnt agree more...



Staying Scary,
Joe

9 Comments:

Blogger giles edwards said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:36 AM  
Blogger giles edwards said...

Hahaha, your movie's not as good as "Night Of The Living Dead 3D". Or "Blood & Chocolate"!

Seriously, Joe, how could you have been so idiotically vague with the rules of the 'Apocalypse' show in WT2? Don't you realise your core audience is lapping up those details? Horror and suspense? No! It's the fictitious game cards that are the real draw for any died-in-the-wool genre fans, you fool.

I see 'Suspiria' was slated as well -- I haven't listened to the review, but I'm assuming it got such a low mark because it was an unconvincing portrayal of how an East European Ballet School operates its fee system. 'Reanimator', as well, was no doubt slammed because of its unrealistic choice of fake porno mag that the guard is reading.

6:39 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Yay for your Big Trouble in Little China quote :D

8:45 AM  
Blogger NathanWrann said...

I honestly think that the internet is responsible for the collective dumbing down of the country, if not the world. One place to look for verification of this is in the reviews and "on-line critics" that are everywhere. There used to be a time when, for a critic to be worthy of publication, they actually had to have some sort of education in critical analysis. That education would consist of learning about evaluating and breaking down all of the parts of a movie (or book or music etc) and the education was usually gathered either through experience working in the arts or going to school.

These reviewers obviously do not have the education to critique a movie and (along with seemingly millions of others out there) seem to think that simply by having watched movies they are qualified to do a critical analysis of them. Now we could stop there and say "okay there are millions of uneducated people posting reviews" (by the way I would classify a review or critique as usually being different than someone posting their opinion of something on a blog) but unfortunately those reviews are then read (or listened to) by tens of other uneducated people who then think that, that is a valid way of critiquing something. That movies, books and music don't need to be looked at any deeper than the casual viewing and given a "thumbs up" or "2 emo stars" or "2 skulls" or whatever ranking system they use.

Don't people have a natural curiosity about WHY they like (or don't like) something? or WHY something works or doesn't work?

Alas, the world gets dumber and dumber.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Kolpitz said...

I think the main thing to look at on that site isn't so much that they hated classic films like Dawn of the Dead, Re-Animator and An American Werewolf in London, but that they thought the remake of Black Christmas was better than Bob Clark's original. I'll be the first to admit that I actually enjoyed the remake for what it was - a dumbed down, over-the-top violent, studio mandated remake of a classic - but the original is superior in every imaginable way. I would never stoop so low as to call the remake a good movie and I would certainly never be drunk enough to proclaim it superior to the original. Looking over their reviews, one has to ponder whether or not these guys even like horror movies.

12:49 PM  
Blogger NathanWrann said...

I'm actually curious to know what the "debate" is since they seem to pretty much agree on nearly every film they review.

3:30 PM  
Blogger BC said...

Nathan that's what I was thinking... though Mike seems to have a bit more sense than Rowdy (3 stars for Dawn of the Dead vs the other guy's 1, 1 star for Halloween 07 vs the other guy's FIVE).

But yeah Joe... why the fuck couldnt wrong turn 2 have been as great as NOTLD 3D?

Where else will you see the original Wicker Man listed as a bomb while the remake gets 2 stars tho?

10:32 AM  
Blogger movienutz said...

Hey, Joe - thanks for the Horror Debate link -
I checked their site out - I thought it was a pretty fair criticism of Wrong Turn 2 - they both LOVED the first kill and reccommended the movie, and said Henry Rollins was great. They just didn't say "It Sucks".......they went into detail and gave valid reasons.
And Mike gave Reanimator 5 stars, Night of the Living Dead 4, Dawn got 3. And in his Bio it ways he went to USC Film School.
The above poster said they liked Blood & Chocolate more - listen to their reviews -no they didn't....

And, oh, come on, BC - both Wicker Man movies sucked.......

Nathanwrann says they agree on nearly every film - check out Reanimator, or Rob Zombie's Halloween.

At least these guys don't try to come off like pompous asses like Michael Medved, or Gene Siskel did - these guys sould like your buddies down at the bar. i think they make valid points, and weather you agree or disagree, that's up to you. But at leaast they don't just say "it Sucks" and leave it at that. I did the site & check it out every friday - it is entertaining, and always good for a laugh.

6:05 PM  
Blogger sullivanthedreadlord said...

I happened to come across your blog regarding a certain site www.thehorrordebate.com. After reading it and rereading it several times I found that I had to point out a quite a few mistakes that you put down in your rant or should I say your crying over what a review said about your movie Wrong Turn 2. I haven’t seen the movie my self since I have only seen the first Wrong Turn and I thought that was a fairly good horror movie. I might eventually pick up a copy of the movie and watch it myself but enough of that lets get back onto the topic at hand. Time to put on my critic hat and point out the mistakes you wrote in your blog.


“-I dont usually like to point out particular reviews of the movie, good or bad (well, OK maybe the good) but this audio podcast might be the most hilarious...er, um..."review" I've ever heard.”

Why would you want to point out the bad reviews of your movie when you would rather have every one focus on all the good things about your movie. No movie is perfect nor will it ever please every one. Nothing too bad about.

“Now, I'm all for constructive criticism, and many people who have HATED the movie, both media and fans, have for the most part been very cordial and intelligent about their gripes with the flick, from "I felt that your stance on the same-family sexual relations to be quite vulgar and unnecessary in the milieu of the film" to "Dood, OMG that movie suxxxxx". Hey, I made a horror movie...way it goes, not here to please the masses totally, that's not good art.”

The fact that you are on here crying about it means that you don’t care for constructive criticism. I listened to the review several times and I did not even for a second hear a thing like "I felt that your stance on the same-family sexual relations to be quite vulgar and unnecessary in the milieu of the film" I must of listened to that review at least 5 times and not a single time did I hear that line that you wrote down. I was thinking what where you listening too and where you drunk or high when you listened to it. There was not a single point in the review that they even got close to say something like "Dood, OMG that movie suxxxxx". I have no idea where you got that impression at all. So what you made a horror movie. Not all horror movies are good but some times it doesn’t matter how bad the movie is because it’s fun to watch.

“...But when you have two Ding-Dongs give their "expert" opinion and seem to not know what the HELL they are talking about (especially on the movie itself), well...you have this amazing review by the knuckle-heads at The Horror Debate, which you can listen to and laugh your ass off HERE.”

“two Ding-Dongs” Really....you have to call them that. As for expert where does it state on the website that they are experts? No where so get over it. As for “seem to not know what the HELL they are talking about (especially on the movie itself),” They did watch the movie and gave their opinion on the movie. They are two horror movie fans and I actually know these two guys. “knuckle-heads at The Horror Debate,” Really again you have to throw around silly insults at them. That shows how mature you are. As for listening and laughing my ass off. Yeah it is some what funny especially when they argue because one doesn’t like the movie while the other does like it. They praised the first 5 minutes of being really really good and then they did not like most of the rest but yet they said it was entertaining.

“Now, before you go slamming me for slamming them for slamming the movie, just know that I absolutely respect and welcome anyone with a take on this or ANY movie (remember what your grandmother says about opinions...) but I laughed so frequently over how dim-witted and misguided the "review" was, I had to share. Sure Im probably giving them traffic by linking them but fuck it...your welcome boys!”

Too late I already am. Let me point out a few comments by you. “two Ding-Dongs” “knuckle-heads at The Horror Debate,” That shows just how much respect you have. You must of forgot what you grandmother said when you wrote this on your blog. Yet again “dim-witted and misguided.” Just because they were not bending over and kissing your feet over how great your movie was you don’t like them. Stop crying over it and get over it.

“Also...check out their previous ratings for fellow 1-2 star stinkers like AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, DEAD ALIVE, REANIMATOR, DAWN OF THE DEAD & even NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD...so clearly these guys ARE the be all end all authority when it comes to Horror criticism, right? Actually, I;m so honored to have been "debated" and be in the same company as those above "pieces of shit", I'm in great company then! Hey...at least they liked HATCHET, can't fault them for that.”

Lets see you say that Reanimator only got just a 1 star rating? That is completely wrong. Looking at you see that only Rowdy gave it a 1 star and yet Michael gave it a 5 star rating. So that movie got an over all 1 star rating? It doesn’t look that way. Dawn of the dead is a over all one star rating? Michael gave this one a 3 star rating while Rowdy gave it a 1 star. So you see that they don’t all ways agree on movies. Night of the living dead only got 1-2 stars? I see that Michael gave it a 4 star rating while Rowdy gave it two. If you are going to post something online get your facts straight and don’t be so one sided. I don’t care if its your blog where you can come and cry about stuff.

12:46 PM  

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